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Blessings!

See you soon,

~C

Be still...

"Be still and know that I am God. I will be praised in all the nations; I will be praised throughout the earth." Psalms 46:10

God spoke this scripture to me this morning and as usual it was exactly what I need to hear today. I am feeling restless today. There are plenty of reasons why but ultimately what it comes down to is God is working patience in me. I don't like patience... I was perfectly content with the amount of patience I thought I had! 

I have started this new journey of homeschooling my daughter. Some days we are on fire getting things done and I LOVE watching her face as she realizes she has learned something new and watching her master it. Then there are days like today where we want to ship one another off to a distant country! I think her ADHD has rubbed off on me, because we are feeding off one another's inability to focus today! 

So many questions swirl through my mind regarding how I am going to do this with her...God has given me the vision of what I need to do as a self-employed mom, but I don't quite see the fruits of that yet...My leave of absence expiration date is coming up and so that means crunch time for some hard decisions I have to make...God and I are having some serious conversations regarding what Chandra wants to do on so many levels and trying to get clarity on what God wants Chandra to do...I know there is going to be sacrifice either way. 

My kids and I definitely enjoy this "Mom being home" thing, crazy how just my presence of being here with them brings a whole to new calm to the normal chaos. It's just a different level of chaos now! They exhaust me just the same, but we are all in a happy, peaceful place. They have experienced some storms but I have watched all my children mature in new ways, and come out stronger through it...Just like those dreams I told you ladies about, they really came to pass, I was the captain of the ship trying to adjust the sails for them, responsible for keeping them protected through it all. I feel beyond blessed that God has had them covered and protected fighting every step of the battles for me...as I knew He would.  

So with all this, He reminds me- Be still and know that I am God. I will be praised in all the nations; I will be praised throughout the earth. 

What that means is He is saying, Chandra, I got this. My desire for you and your family is that I be praised, and I WILL BE. In everything I have set before you and called you to, it is I that will be praised. 

Can't argue much with that...though I try! But He holds me close and quiets me every time. The worst of the storm is over. There is always the rainbow, the clean skies, fresh air and PEACE after the storm...I can rest and be calm because that's exactly where we are headed!  

So yes, patience is being grown while my faith is tested tried and true. I go through it just like everyone else. I know my conscience is clear and I have kept myself before God doing what He has asked me to do... Restless days like today come to try and plant that lie that things won't ever change or that breakthrough isn't coming... REJECT IT... Stand firm in who you are in Him! Be still, know that HE is God and that He has declared that He will get all the glory and praise. He already has your battle WON! 

Til next time,

~C

For Such A Time As This

"Who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this...?" Esther 4:14 

Ladies, I don't know about you, but I am tired. This season I have been in has been one that has pushed me into new levels of myself I did not know existed...and I am tired. I am not complaining because as tired as my body may feel, my spirit is on fire and HUNGRY for what God in store for me and my family!

Last Friday, I went to church for a conference we were having. To be real, I almost didn't want to go. The conference had started Wednesday night, was all day Thursday and then Friday morning & Friday night. I had business to take care of that took me out of town for Wednesday and Thursday, so I missed those services. I went Friday morning but I was so mentally distracted and felt so out of the loop having missed the other days, I wasn't really getting much out of it. So when Friday evening came, I had to fight the excuses that tried to keep me from going but I went. I went with an open spirit for what God would have for me. When we step out in that faith like that, He is so faithful to meet us there! I have this picture of Him jumping right up, just waiting for that open spirit, to give me what HE has for me! 

It makes me sad to think that so many people still see the Lord as that angry guy just waiting to punish you for all the wrong you do. Even though I didn't know it, I saw Him like that too... and don't get me wrong, if you choose to be His enemy, He is scary! But His only true enemy is Satan... His desire is to have you know the strong, tender, merciful Him. But I'm bunny-trailing.....

That Friday, He reminded me, yet again (I'm a little slow at times) of all that He has HEALED and that has already been finished in my spirit...and it's time to GO! To climb to the higher places He has for me... and... to STOP shying away from what He is calling me to do because I am still doing it.... Ha! I can't hide ANYTHING from you Lord, can I!?  

Let's look at Esther in the Old Testament... she was an orphan, her cousin Mordecai was raising her as his own, they were Jews living in Persia....the queen at the time refused to come to the king when she was summoned so she basically gets kicked out of the palace...loses her identity as queen. The king assigns his people to bring him the women of the land so he can find a new queen. Esther is one of those girls... and she wanted nothing to do with the whole thing. 

Think about it... what village girl wouldn't LOVE to be made queen?! Well... Esther! But God had other plans... you see, His people were going to be slaughtered. The enemy is real sneaky in His plans to destroy us, but God knows exactly what's up...and He sets a plan in motion ahead of time for the redemption of those who love and serve Him. Esther was chosen to be the queen before she ever even got to the palace. The king had no desires for any of the thousands of women that came before him...BUT HER. She risked her life to come before him uninvited, not once but twice..that would've gotten anyone killed...BUT HER. 

She fought her call, telling her cousin "Why me???? Why can't someone else do it?! Why do I have to risk my life? I didn't ask for this!" We have all been there at some point. Maybe it was that moment you realized you were going to have to do this parenting thing on your own... maybe it was when you lost that job you thought you were secure in and now you had to figure out another source of income...maybe it was that time you did what you thought was the right thing but then everyone turned on you for standing for what you believe in. Whatever it was, the vision God has for His call on your life goes farther than what you can think or imagine!! He doesn't just look at us and see a single person, He sees our children, their children AND their children! He sees every person who is going to come across your path and He sees the impact your obedience will have on each and every one of them! He sets things in motion for His amazing plan of redemption and salvation, but He needs YOU to say yes. 

As Esther sat and argued about her call, her cousin checked her pretty quick! He told her in Esther 4:14 "For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance shall arise for the Jews from elsewhere, but you and your father's house will perish. But who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion?"

Ouch! She just got checked. That couldn't have felt good. Case in point- God has called YOU mighty woman. No matter your circumstance, no matter your background, like Esther, you are a Queen, you just don't know it yet! 

The king of Persia is the earthly symbol of God, since God is the one who set up the WHOLE scenario....  it was really HIM crowning her, giving her that grace and favor, to change the world and save her people from annihilation. She could have said no. And so could you, so could I. We have that choice, but as Mordecai warned Esther, if you don't step into your purpose, God will get someone else to do it... He told Esther her and her father's house will perish. Not only literally, but she will have stopped the fulfillment of her destiny and legacy to her father's name for all future generations! Wow!

When the Lord spoke to my heart about everything He has placed on my heart regarding Queen In The Making, and telling me the challenges of these last few months have been to test me, to test my faithfulness, asking me "Would you still say yes?" I knew right then my answer will always be yes, no matter the cost, because I know I am here for such a time as this. I have a purpose, a destiny and a legacy to fulfill for my Father's name! 

Stand up and RISE ladies... it doesn't take much looking around in your world to recognize your King needs you, His CHOSEN one, to let Him crown you in all His glory so you can go be His love, grace and mercy to everyone He brings your way! You've got His love, you've GOT His favor!! Will you let your answer be yes? Rise up and stand tall for you have been chosen for such a time as this! 

Til next time,

~C

Love Story

I've discovered that God never ceases to amaze me! No I didn't JUST catch that revelation, but just gotta say it tonight!

This week the "Faith Just Got Real" post was really a seed that began to grow in me such a hunger for His word that it's almost been insatiable. I had my small group on Tuesday so spent most the day listening to Creflo Dollar, Beth Moor and poured over scripture. God has been drawing me to Psalms, and as He guides me through, showing me the depths of who He is, it's been the beginning of an intimacy with Him that touches a deeper place in me than anything I've experienced with Him before.

I kept to my word in Faith Just Got Real, asking Him to show me who He is, teach me so I can be that reflection as I surrender all of Chandra to Him. My God does not disappoint!

In Psalm 23:6 He promises me goodness and mercy follow me all of my days and that I get to dwell with Him forever. In Psalm 29 I get to know my Powerful Holy God whose voice thunders over the ocean, powerful and majestic! I love the ocean, I've always said the roar of the waves crashing on the shore are such a mighty demonstration of God's power and majesty!

In Psalm 30 I meet my protector, my safe place....

I've made a conscious decision to remain single for awhile, but as a single Mom, one thing I miss the most about a relationship is the protection and safety I felt in his arms. But as God continues to reveal to me who He is, my heart floods with His love for me and such PEACE because I am so fulfilled in His love for me!

I smile as I lay here telling the Lord from the depth of my soul, I don't need a man, not even him. I just need you! Thank you that goodness and mercy follow me! Thank you that you are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! Show me your will and I promise I will walk through the doors you open for me. I will rest confidently in the shadow of your wings.

Through this season of testing it's been, to know Him like this... It's worth it! I lay my head tonight completely surrendered and completely head over heels in love with Him and rest in knowing He's head over heels in love with me!

I challenge you ladies, to seek Him this week in a way you never have before. Ask Him to show you...and be open to receive it. I promise you, you won't be disappointed! He is completely head over heels in love with you too! There's plenty of Him to share! ;)

Til next time...

~C

Faith Just Got Real

Hey Queens! I know we have all heard this scripture before, but tonight I wanna tell you Faith just got real! Many of us walk around saying we have Faith, and maybe for the most part we do, but is your Faith in HOPING God comes through for you? I hope everything is going to be okay, but deep down I'm kind of feeling sorry for myself in the meantime? Or does your Faith tell you, "No, God IS coming through for me! In fact, He's already completed what He said He's gonna do, I'm just waiting for it's manifestation!"?

I've always considered myself a Faith woman. I know God has a purpose in all He does and He has spoken some pretty big things to me about my life, my family and my ministry, and I believe they will come to pass. But as my pastor says, there's a season between I believe it and I receive it. It's called standing, or worse, waiting! Ugh, I HATE WAITING!

But I cannot deny that it is in my waiting season that He shows me who He is, in every essence of His faithfulness, teaches me who He says I am and what He wants me to be. He does it in new ways every time. I've even developed my own term for it, "He's growing me!"

In this season He has been showing me so many things, but this weekend it was a little different. He showed me that though I submit myself to Him every day, (I can do/say that easily) I've been missing an important piece. I forget to ask Him to TEACH me to be more like Him in my surrender and submission.

I am a behaviorist by trade. I tell parents all the time, we can't just tell kids to stop a specific behavior and expect them to just stop. Their behaviors are fulfilling a need or a purpose, they have Faith it's going to get them what they want, therefore we need to teach then another acceptable behavior that they can believe will still satisfy that need and purpose!

Us adults aren't any different! Our flesh behaviors fill a need or purpose. I don't know about you but when I operate in doing what I want when I want, typically, it doesn't always work out so well! Quite frankly what I think it will get me, it usually doesn't!

I'm really good at telling God all the time, my hands are Your hands Lord, let my words be Your words, I'll go where you want me to go and do what you want me to do! Like David's heart in Psalm 119, my heart wants to stop that flesh behavior and my willingness is undeniable. But what good is that going to do if I don't know what I'm supposed to do instead?

It doesn't matter how old you are or how long you have been saved, we ALL have issues...a flesh that battles our spirits every day. We have to be teachable in this. He designed it that way, so we have to draw into Him, seek Him, because then we get to KNOW Him and then as we get to know Him, we discover who WE really are in Him!

That's His heart above all us so that we can take the knowledge of who He is and become like Him so that we can go BE Him to the world around us! It's so much more than just going to church, reading your Bible and going through the motions. These seasons and tests come so we can take what we learn in our heads, let Him nurture that relationship with us so we can GROW and GO be that blessing and miracle waiting to happen because our Faith is in knowing WHO HE IS & WHO WE ARE. That's powerful!

So yes, in that revelation, FAITH JUST GOT REAL!

I would love to hear your thoughts and testimonies and prayer requests! Due to some technical difficulties, comments on the blog are not enabled (still building the QITM website) but please feel free to comment or message me on our Facebook page!

Still working on the book, which I'm super stoked about, and speaking at juvenile hall, God has been busy over here! (but never too busy for my Queens!)

Til next time!

~C

All You Need to Know

So many thoughts, so many emotions...Queen In The Making is meant to be about the journey to "Queen-hood", because while God already sees me as His Queen, in the natural, I have far from "arrived".

So many women and girls I've ministered to and mentored tell me all the time, "you're so strong Chandra." or I hear "I wish I had you're strength". I smile in humble amazement when I hear it because my answer is, "I have my moments like everyone else." This season right now is a tough one and while I've been told it's a test, it feels as intense as the Bar Exam!

Today I feel the leading to be a little more raw than usual, I guess I enjoy this "bad ass" image of mine and feel I have to uphold it for the sake of my "people". But tonight I have to take off that mask, it's vulnerable and a little scary so be nice!

I don't understand this season, and I know that I'm not supposed to. But it's a painful one. My daughter is struggling in ways I can't help her. I am powerless in stopping her hurt. No matter what I do, what I sacrifice I can't save her from her choices and I can't fill the void only God can fill. It's a horrible feeling considering my living the last 5 years
has been helping struggling children. I love what I do! But everyone in the field reminds me I can't "therapize" my own kid! She knows I'm here for her before any job, I'm caught between being the advocate for her mental health needs and holding her  stubborn self accountable for the other things she most definitely can control.

Oh yeah, and I have two other kids who need Mom for their world too! Trying to keep THEIR worlds as normal as possible, holding them accountable when they see it working all backwards for their sister, and making sure THEY know beyond a shadow of a  doubt that their needs are just as important.

I'm a tired Mom. I was telling God today, Moses had a burning bush, the Israelites had a pillar of fire by day and a glory cloud by night. Elijah had a wind, fire and an earthquake & even the apostles had a talking donkey! I'm not asking much God,  why do I feel so distant, unable to hear and feeling like I'm failing no matter what I do?

Not to mention the loneliness that creeps in, the fact that my heart misses a certain someone that God has not seen as time for yet...feels ten times as heavy on days like today. My flesh wants to go back to my old coping skills but I know in my heart of hearts, I've come too far to go back there.

But here's the amazing revelation through this, He is all I need. He reminded me as I was whining to Him about Elijah that even though the wind, fire and earthquake came, it was in His still small voice that He spoke.

When I cried out to Him asking why I couldn't hear Him for the answer I needed, my sweet neighbor who had intercepted my crying daughter, told me exactly what I needed to hear to build my faith and show me I already had the answer.

And it was that someone special who text me to remind me that God has got me, that I know that, and that's all I need to know!

He was so right! The answer was that simple. It's not to say that that there won't be tears shed. It's not to say it's easy, but I do know this, though the enemy has tried bringing hurt and confusion and chaos, trying to tear my daughter and I apart, we are only closer. I can communicate with her and she trusts me in such a sacred way the enemy CAN'T break. I love her unconditionally, and through that she gets a glimpse of the love her heavenly Father has for her and she WILL serve Him in a mighty way one day. My kids all know I will sacrifice anything I have to, for them.

They get to watch their Heavenly Father provide for us like never before, and right now in this season, they watch in me what it really means to have  faith in God. I have no other option in my book, but to lean on Him and depend absolutely completely in Him. And He won't let me down.

I know He is setting me up. He is setting my family up for an amazing testimony that will yell from the rooftops "Only God could've done that!"

The enemy may think he's laughing now, but I get the last laugh. He's got me, I know He does, and that's all I need to know!

Til next time,

~C

Believing God No Matter What

Believing God no matter what...that's me in a nutshell. This particular season in my life is not one of my favorites. It's not comfortable, and my impatient nature doesn't help much! But strangely enough it is one that I feel most secure through! 

I look back through this year and am just blown away by all God has done and brought me through! I see myself in ways I never could before. I love my children in a stronger way than I have before. I trust in God more than I have before. 

Though others may look at where I am right now and scratch their heads trying to figure out what I'm doing or why I'm doing it, the bottom line is it's because it's what my Father told me to do and any time I argue, He wins anyway! I'm believing for good things, mighty things done in my life through Him. I know that the bigger the test the sweeter the victory!  I'm believing for victory and freedom for my children, I have big dreams and I want theirs to be even bigger! I want them to remember Mom's faith, God's faithfulness through it all, and I want them to RUN with their visions in total confidence in Him!

Right now I feel like I'm in the middle of the journey. I've come too far to turn back but still can't quite see my destination on the horizon...it's not a very fun place...I know I'm not the only one that's been there. 

But I know that I know that I know, I'm in His perfect will. I asked God for faith, and He gave me faithbuilding experience. I acknowledge His faithfulness, He allows the storms of life to prove Himself to me. He uses my love & protective nature for my children to show me just how great His love & protection is for ME, and even that is just barely a glimpse. 

So yes, though the seas may be rocking my boat a little, I TRUST Him. Though I can't see exactly what's on the other side, I know it's GOOD. I know the needs of my family are met, because He supplies all our needs according to His riches and glory. 

My Jesus is faithful, unchanging, just and true...
  
I GOT THIS! 


Til next time,

~C