Man, Some Days.....

HOLY MOLY! What a week this has been.... AND IT'S ONLY WEDNESDAY!

So I've been talking a lot lately about rising up, being strong, holding your head high as the Queen you are... God has really been hacking away at that Victim Mentality in my life.... That image above, is exactly where I have felt these couple of days. Kickback, that's what I am getting.. Kickback. So what is kickback?

God is taking me into some serious depths in my walk with Him. I am stepping into new realms of reaching people. Not just with my writing, but I have been given the opportunity to speak at the Juvenile Hall for the teen girls. My Life Group has begun (shout out to my girls!), and I await news on a possible new position which would be a significant financial breakthrough. In addition, at work my caseload working with families has exploded and there are some serious crisis in these families- one in particular is a Christian family that really needs God to show up and show out. Oh yeah, and the book writing has officially started too!

Have I mentioned before the enemy doesn't fight fair? My Monday began as most do... except these FEELINGS started trying to bug me! Irritation regarding my ex husband, my singleness and missing someone I still care for, all these what ifs and blah blah blahs keep swirling in my head. I gotta confess God tried waking me up early Monday morning and I chose sleep instead, so in hindsight I think He was trying to warn me! But hey, I worshiped my way through my morning, got to have some awesome talk and ministering to my friend and co-worker... all is GOOD! Tuesday morning, God tries waking me up again... Meaning I woke up earlier than I would naturally and felt I should probably pray ... Again, I chose sleep because quite frankly it was still dark outside and I don't get to sleep nearly enough!
 THEN... I receive a phone call that threatens to shake my family to the core. Could mess up my job and everything else connected to it, questioning who I am, my character, all of it!
 Every human emotion imaginable is ready to just let loose. I'm angry, I'm hurt, I'm betrayed, I'm sad...I am in Mama Bear mode and I'm ready to cuss anybody and everybody out!
Today... when God tried waking me up I didn't argue! I was up and in my Word because I was needing everything He has for me... In Psalm 91 He reminded me that I am protected. He reminded me that whoever loves Him (and I do!) He is with in trouble. He will rescue me and honor me.
He promised me that NO disaster will come to my home, He is my place of safety..and that His TRUTH is my shield and protection.
Of all the emotions I felt, I realized one thing I was NOT was scared. I know the mother I am, I know the person I am and I know TRUTH prevails, but man those other emotions were coming at me fierce.

Today was my day... I got to work (about 20 miles away), looked down and realized my sandal strap snapped.... Took a deep breath and said ...OOH KAY... All good, get a quick pair after my morning meeting.  As I put my laptop in my trunk I realized my briefcase with all the info I needed for my day was AT HOME, 20 miles away... DEEP BREATH NUMBER TWO! Decided I needed a juice and sprouted wheat bagel from my favorite organic bakery for a little comfort. Toward the end of my meeting I get another call with some other news... and quite franklyI needed a good cry and so I indulged myself just that! Our physical bodies can only handle so much.. and when we need to cry, we need to cry!

So what's this kickback I've been talking about? Well today in my meeting with one of my new families in crisis, we had a powerful time in which HOPE was brought back to a family that the enemy has kept in turmoil for months! To be able to point a family back to the Rock of their faith essentially tells the enemy his grip is loosed! I got my clearance today to start speaking at juvenile hall...the enemy knows THAT territory is good as lost...I have got some financial breakthroughs coming and my writing isn't gonna stop, it's only ramping up! Not to mention the beautiful women and friends God has brought into my life that I get to teach/mentor and pointing closer to God and closer to discovering who THEY are in Christ!!! I AM SHAKING THINGS UP! How's that for kicking him in the face!?

As you walk into your purpose and doing God's work, expect that resistance. That's what this is all about. Some may say they don't want to walk in their purpose if resistance is what's going to come but reality is, the enemy hates you regardless! There will be something coming against you either way! They choice is yours whether you want to be at the mercy of the storm or be as Jesus was in the boat resting in the peace of knowing you are getting to the other side because are God's daughter?! Do you want to be tossed around like a feather in the wind? Or know you are staying firmly planted like an oak tree? Because I KNOW I am firmly planted! When I got news of my clearance for the hall, I knew I was forging ahead. I smiled a victorious DETERMINED smile that said, you can't stop me devil! God wins... I win! YOU disgusting, vile, worthless, demonic foe are powerless over God's plans and purposes in my life, my family and in the lives that God brings across my path!  I will worship stronger, praise louder and go full force ahead bolder and with even more tenacity! You WILL NOT take me back to the cowering person I once was, in the name of Jesus!

I could give up, I could cry Uncle, I could tell God that this is too hard and I don't want to continue with what He wants me to do, He'd let me... I have that free will. But that is not who I am. I will not deny my identity or purpose. I have a destiny and a legacy to leave for my kids to remember one day. I want them to remember my perseverance and faith. I want them to know and hear God DOUBLE what I do! There are no victims in this house, only VICTORS!


Til next time....

~C